Memoirs Of An Embarrassing Mother – Part Three | Banana Crumble
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Memoirs Of An Embarrassing Mother - Part Three

by Banana Crumble | Nov 26, 2017

Illustration courtesy of Ruth Pickering

You know you are getting older when……..

Sports Personality of the Year at school. I arrive late as my coaching class doesn’t actually finish until the presentation has started. An amazing technological feat is going on. Names change automatically as people give their speeches and photos match the names and awards. I sneak past everyone to get to my seat right at the front of the hall. Pull out my “oh so important” speech notes. Panic sets in as the hall is so dark I can’t read my notes, Realising how important my typed words are to the whole evening, I whisper to the person next to me, who I might add is not of the age where reading glasses get more vital. I had printed my speech in a large font but not taken into account the lack of light. The stage had spotlights and my colleague told me I would be fine when I was up on stage. I had every confidence until I stepped up to the podium. Read my notes – I don’t think so, First thought wing it, second I can’t do that as if I get my names in the wrong order the whole evening will be ruined. Seconds seem like hours as I made some rambling talking up, about not being able to read my notes and asking for some help. My saviour!! One of my teaching colleagues jumped up with a mobile phone torch which she held over my notes. Hey Presto, that large font did work after all and I could read my speech. Saved by a torch but I certainly got more of a laugh than my typed words would ever have done. Tonight it is the next awards evening and my typed words will be so large that I will be able to read them even if it is almost pitch black!!



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